"As if" A blog for all those struggling writers

Okay so I am still working on my novel. Yes! Still! Rome still wasn't built in a day, The Lord Of The Rings was not written in a moment and I want to put a fun and thought provoking story out not just a leave on the toilet lid book but a hide it from your husband because it turns you on better than watching Brad Pitt's butt cheeks in Troy book. I'm in a quandary with some of my writing techniques as are a thousand other would-be writers. Oops, strike that. There are no would-be writers. You are a writer as long as you continue to put your thoughts, ideas and dreams on paper.

The reasoning behind the title of this blog is.... WTF? I like many people have joined one writing forum or another where people share their critiques and opinions about others work. Key word "opinion". So why did I allow others opinions of my writings get in the way of my actual writing for months. I've spent the better part of a few months re-reading and editing my story because someone told me that I overused the phrase "as if" to describe something. I just started reading a New York Times Bestselling author's new book and realized that she uses that phrase far more than I do so let me get the hitch off my back and finish what I've started.

Now while this may sound like I can't take criticism from others that is not where I'm coming from. I can take it. Just ask my seven year-old when she winces at the taste of something I've made for dinner. Yes, I can take it from every one. I just am having issues with self-critiquing but slowly and steadily, I'm learning to get past that. Hell, I see a great character coming from this AS IF I'd been standing at the edge of the faltering cliffs in my mind and realized that as long as I tied myself to a tree I could jump. I've found a way to catch myself so watch out world I'm diving.

Party like a rock star but do it with thanks

This is the year I stepped out of my box and took a giant leap. Most people that know me personally, know that though I may seem bubbly and upbeat most of the time, I really masking the fact that I am painfully shy. Yep, that, as some have described me, Ice Queen appearance I present is a facade until you get a glass or two of wine in me. LOL

Well, on February 29, 2008, I had the amazing opportunity to see a wonderful artist, American Idol alumni Bo Bice, perform in a very private setting and I took it. I had shut myself off from the world in a way because of my shyness. But thanks to a fantastic young woman, Lecia and her family. I was blessed with the chance to meet a truly genuine and sweet person and a true success story. He is a man who was given an opportunity and with much added work on his part, he is able to do what he loves, stay a genuine person and make a living at it. I also had the chance to meet some really phenomenal ladies. All of whom, I met through Bo Bice. I am proud to have met them all and now, I can truly call them friends. It is amazing the kind of people you can meet if you just open yourself up to it.

So, in conclusion I guess the motto of this blog is to say thanks for gestures both big and small because what you have been given is a true treasure.

What am I doing? Am I crazy for doing it?

So what, I'm still working on my first novel? Why is it that the people who have no interest in doing anything but sitting in front of their television sets or searching the Internet for mundane articles about celebrities who are even more pathetic than they are the first to ask you questions like....So are you published yet? Are you STILL writing that book? Geez, I thought you'd be done by now. .....As if I'm just sitting in front of a television watching static. Sometimes the static is inside my head. My characters are trying to live their lives inside my mind while I'm trying to live mine outside. Only a writer would understand my quandary.

Rome wasn't built in a day. Afraid of rejection, you might ask? Hell yes but I'm more afraid of disappointing myself. The story has to work for me first. I am my own biggest critic. A perfectionist who is not satisfied with the mundane. My goal is to finish this book by the end of April. Then I can send it to editors and then maybe, I'll get published so that all those couch potatoes can come from behind the television screen and computer monitors and widen their imaginations through mine. In the meantime, since you're on the computer check out my website: www.etatejohnson.com I just added a short story. One of my characters decided to take a detour.

Now, it's time for me to get back on that track.

Merry Christmas!

My world, my blog......

LIfe Lessons learned from senselessness

Eventually I will get to blogging about my mundane life. Well, a life that is becoming less mundane. I'll be back to writing and living life and sharing it with you but first, I have to address a profound sadness. It's just such a solemn day here in my hometown so this blog post is dedicated to The Redskins Nation.


In Memory of Sean Taylor, 21

This is such a bittersweet day for me personally and a devastating day for the entire Washington, DC metropolitan area. One of our brightest stars, I mean that literally because he shined, has died out. Sean Taylor, just twenty-four years of age was shot and killed in his home. He wasn't just another young black man killed like so many young black men are for making poor decisions. He was a young man rebuilding his life, shot down while trying to protect his family in his home. IN HIS HOME!!! A home that he worked hard, whether it was through playing a silly game or making it through college and dealing with the issues that men twice his age have not. I would hope that his death will make at least one young man who thinks it's better to pick up a pen, a book or a ball than to be so selfish and angry at a person for working his way to success that they would kill them.

I may seem angrier than I should but I am speaking as a person who survived the same exact injury. I was not shot but fourteen years ago at the very same age that this young man lost his life, I myself had my femoral artery severed while fending a knife-wielding assailant off. Because I was in shock, I don't remember the pain and my only hope is that Sean did not suffer either. I'm telling this intimate detail about myself to make a point. I am not a victim. I refuse to be because I am still alive. Sean is forever gone. There is no explanation good enough for me that answers the question of why he was taken at so young an age. Children are mourning, fans and teammates are mourning and a little girl is without her father. There by the grace of God it could've been me, I thought. But it wasn't. God must've needed an angel, a guardian up there and he must've had other plans for me.

So, I guess the motto of this rant:

Life is so fleeting. It can end in seconds and for the people left behind, live it and live it well. Live it and live it with kindness. That's what Sean did. He played every game to the fullest and toward the end, he lived his life the same way. I hope that the youth of this world will learn that same lesson.

Happy Thanksgiving to all. What are you thankful for?

In this commercialized world, what has happened to the meaning of Thanksgiving? Is it just me or has Thanksgiving been diluted to just another reason to save at Wal*Mart? Well, I think it has.

I was not allowed to celebrate holidays like most of the world. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and because of my parents, well mostly, my dear mother's misplaced religious views, I think I missed out. But, I am thankful even for that because I now realized what true joys I've missed. Not the joys of shopping, scrounging through the storage shed for holiday ornaments and the sometimes agony of putting up the Christmas lights but the simple things. For example, the look on my little girl's face when she sees her Great-grandmother for the first time or when she bites into a mouth-watering cookie that comes from a recipe that was handed down from women of her line from the very beginning. And now, I have the knowledge that I, having not known those joys myself, I have a wonderful, generous husband who has shown them to my children and me and that hopefully the joys will continue to pass on.

Reality hit me in the nose this week. An altercation happened between two people who are very dear to me. An argument that could have turned violent because one of those people was not thankful for what they had but jealous over what the other did. Juvenile when you think of it isn't it? Two people who have known each other their entire lives could have ruined their relationship for years to come.

So, I guess the motto of my rant is this.....

Be thankful for the little things and cherish every moment tomorrow because taking one day for granted is the beginning of taking everyday for granted.

Guess what I found?

Me. I found me.

I have been fast at work writing and creating my web page. Within the last year, I taught myself a lot about me. I found that, although, I can be a major procrastinator, if I focus and stop running around like the proverbial chicken sans head, I can actually accomplish a lot. You know the type of person that's always running around looking like they are doing a lot but they are actually running around in circles doing nothing but wasting precious time? Yep, that was mwah. I had to stop, catch a breath and reevaluate what I was doing.

I've learned that as a mother, it is okay to put oneself first. Actually, it's a definite must. I have alway put someone's needs before my own but you know what?.....if you don't put yourself first sometimes, you can lose yourself and then you're no good to anyone.

That was my first lesson in the next step of my life. Maybe it's because I just celebrated a birthday. I'm not sure but I've been asking a lot of questions as I head into the next level of my adult life. Like, how does one juggle being a stay-at-home mom and starting a sometimes scary thing like stepping out of one's box and learning new tricks. I'm not sure but I'd going to do it anyways.

I've never been a stickler for schedules. I've always flown by the seat of my pants but after looking around my home at the clutter my family has accrued, I realized that I maybe I should try living by one. Through that, I have been able to actually free myself up to be available more. I know, that shocked me too.

For my birthday, my husband bought me iLife for my Mac and upgraded Photoshop. Yeah, it might not seem like a big deal but it was one of the greatest gifts he's given me because, within the last year while finding myself and learning new things, this woman who thought her life, though full of love, seemed mundane. I discovered my life wasn't mundane, I was just living it that way. Sometimes I need a kick in the ass.

Last year, I starting thinking about the fact that I was once a vibrant, creative woman who could paint, draw, write and do whatever I wanted even without parents who thought I could, but that's a different story. Well, this year, I realized that woman was still here. She was inside me screaming for release. Well, be prepare world, here she comes.

Check out what else I learned how to do at my new website that I created myself after teaching myself how.

http://www.etatejohnson.com

And thanks to a special friend, Miss Laura Haines for helping me get over my fear of photoshop and giving me pointers.

You said it's your birthday. It's my birthday too, yeah!

Yep, I just turned one year older on November 6th. It was my wedding anniversary too. That's right. I got married on my birthday. My thirtieth to be exact. That was eight fabulous years ago. I think it was my way of not facing the fact that I was getting older.

It didn't work.

The good news is that I am happily married and my husband doesn't care how old I'm getting. He leaves me to fret about that all by myself.

Well, I'll get to the point of this blog. That being, there is no point to it. As my father once said, and he died at ninety while I was thirty-three, "Age is nothing but a number. Numbers can't hurt you but as time goes on if you don't make good use the time you have wisely, by the time you reach the end, you'll be nothing but a zero."

Thanks Dad for putting a burr under my butt.

Back to my goals. I have now taught myself how to create my own website. That's a huge success for the technically-challenged person that I am but hey, I love challenges. That's why I am going to get my rear end in gear and challenge myself to finish Nano this year. Wish me luck and check out my website.

http://www.etatejohnson.com